It’s taken me a really long time to come to this realisation, but now I’m here, it’s freeing to know that being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely.
I’m the type of person who energises from being with other people, but I like having people I know around too, almost as a comfort blanket. Sometimes you can’t have people around, and you might end up missing out on valuable experiences otherwise.
The first time I went and did something alone since my realisation, I went to the cinema to see Frozen. My friends hadn’t expressed an interest in seeing it, but I wanted to. So I thought, why not? And I had a great time, to be honest – I was the only one in the whole screen, which was a little creepy on occasions, but it was quite refreshing.
When I went to see Fall Out Boy in October, I went on my own. I had bought a VIP ticket and I couldn’t ask anyone I knew to part with that kind of money so I just went alone. That wasn’t a problem either – I met a few lovely people in the queue who were on their own too, so we all got chatting. That day turned out to be one of the best days ever!
As this post goes live I will be in Manchester seeing twenty one pilots on my own. I don’t know anyone who listens to them, who would want to go and see them, so I went on my own.
I felt like I wanted to write this post because it comes down to self-confidence and how secure you are with yourself. I am a very confident person and I can make friends with anybody. That’s not a natural trait, I wasn’t born like that. I had serious confidence issues when I was young and that still comes out sometimes. But it’s so worth trying to overcome those feelings, because you gain so much when you realise you can do things by yourself.
There are a lot of articles about ‘FOMO’ (the fear of missing out) lately and I completely get it. Not being invited places sucks. Or being invited and not being able to go for whatever reason. But this is one kind of FOMO you can control. If your friend can’t make it to lunch, why should you miss out on that burger you’ve been thinking about all week? Say you need some new shoes for work but nobody’s free to come shopping with you. You can go by yourself! I love shopping by myself, mainly because I hate shopping. So I can go where I want, get what I need, and come straight back home.
Obviously I still prefer to do things with my friends, but I love the knowledge that I’m comfortable enough to go out and do things alone if it comes to it. So if you’re reading this and thinking how you really want to go see that movie that everyone thinks looks lame but you secretly think looks awesome, this is me telling you to go see it by yourself. You’ve got this, you aren’t going for other people to judge you, you’re going out to do something for yourself, and that’s always a good move.